Sometimes at Nerdbot, we like to bring you articles about weird products that you might want to own legitimately, or purchase as a kind of gag gift. For example, last year we discussed a shower faucet fixture in the shape of a pair of lips. We also did a piece about how Revolution makeup was teaming up with Post Cereals for a line of cosmetics that was inspired by Fruity Pebbles and Cocoa Pebbles.
Given all this, I wasn’t entirely unsurprised when the idea of discussing a cat brush, shaped like a tongue and designed to be held in your mouth, was brought up.
The LICKI, as it’s called was not unknown to me, since as an avid “Shark Tank” viewer, I’d seen the pitch for it and thought it was absolutely insane.
It struck me as the type of product that’s reserved for people who are WAY too close to their cats; the type of product that the cat themselves would feel ashamed that you spent money on, and cats don’t even understand what currency is…That being said, you can buy it here.
As I was looking at the Amazon page, however, I suddenly realized the actual story was not in the brush, but in something else.
This is the Amazon page as it appears on my desktop. I’ve put some red boxes around two areas on the page, both of which I want to break down. We’ll start with the top one first since it’s less to go through. It basically boils down to the “about” this item, and it furthers the insanity of the product. Claiming that “licking” your cat is an “oddly meditative practice” is partially right, but only if you stop at the first word and shorten it to, “odd.”
As for using to product to “bond” with your cat, well, I know many cat owners that don’t go about licking their cat with a fake tongue and they seem to get along perfectly well. Plus, hypothetical situation here, but let’s say your friend walks into your home while you’re licking your cat, they ask what the hell you’re doing and you reply with, “I’m bonding with kitty.” What do you think their reaction is going to be?
Anyway, the other, deeper story here is what you see in the other highlighted section of items that are frequently purchased along side the LICKI. One of them is a book entitled “Crafting With Cat Hair,” and it is exactly what it says in the title. It’s a book, originally in Japanese, that helps instruct you on crafting projects you can make with your cat’s hair. One of the comments by a customer named Rico sums it up very succinctly, in a one sentence review entitled, “Worked like a charm.”
I purchased this book as I was tired of people sitting too near me on public transport.Rico – Amazon.com Review
If you’re still interested, you can purchase it here. Or, you could wait and look at the other item that is recommended, a book called, “How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety.” At least this one is tongue in cheek, as the product description is clearly satirical in tone, unlike the previous two products which were decidedly not. Instead, the insanity of this product comes from its sales ranking categories.
Not only is this book number one in Cat Training and Cat Care & Health, but it’s number two in the category of “Radical Political Thought.” In comparison, “Capital: Volume 1: A Critique of Political Economy” by Karl Marx, is ranked at number 5. So if by chance you know someone who is a cat lover, enjoys satirical novels, and happens to be a radical communist, then this is easily the crossover gift you’ve been dreaming of. If you want to purchase it, here you go. The cat book that is, not the Marxist political critique.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go curl up into a corner of my apartment and seriously contemplate my life choices that led me to agreeing to do this article and scrolling too far down the LICKI product page.