Two Bears Raid Krispy Kreme Van on Military Base

Two bears made a daring daylight raid on a Krispy Kreme doughnut van making deliveries on an Alaskan military base. The pilfered vehicle was stopped outside a convenience store during its delivery route.

The driver normally leaves his doors open at this stop, but this time, a mother bear and her cub decided to wander inside. According to Shelly Deano, store manager for Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson JMM Express, the pair only stayed about 20 minutes.

But that was plenty of time for them to chow down on their ill-gotten donut holes and other assorted pastries. All while ignoring the people banging on the side of the van trying to scare them off.

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“I was beating on the van and they’re not moving. I could hear them breaking open the packages and everything,” Deano said. “I was like, ‘They don’t even care.’”

When her efforts failed, base security was called upon to sound sirens to scare the bears away. Eventually, the furry duo made their way out of the Krispy Kreme van to hang out in front of the convenience store and gas station a bit. Which added loitering to their rap sheet, on top of grand theft donut, before making their escape into the nearby woods.

Though it isn’t uncommon to see bears hanging out around the store, Deano says that this has never happened before. And now the driver is sure to close his doors when making deliveries to prevent future Krispy Kreme heists.

“We’re cautious when we come in, when we leave. When we take out garbage, we do it in pairs, especially if it’s dark,” she said.

Captain Lexi Smith, a spokesperson at the base, said authorities on base “are aware of this and other wildlife situations throughout the past several months,” and would like to use this incident to remind residents to be careful when it comes to wildlife in the area.

“We urge the public to use caution to ensure you are protecting our wildlife and yourselves,” Smith said via email. “Wildlife may be our neighbor, but they should not be attracted to our human food sources.”

Remember, while bears may look cute and fuzzy, they are still wild animals and can still be very dangerous. This is why Ranger Smith’s plan to use picnic baskets as a deterrent was such a disastrous failure. The two bandits are still at large and assumed to be in food comas.