I know how we get about end of year lists, particularly those that highlight the not so great outings of the year. I get it, making movies is hard. But that doesn’t automatically except bad movies from criticism, and not all “Worst of” or “Disappointing” lists are as cruel as the Razzies. If it’s any consolation, it was much harder to find 10 films I really disliked this year enough to put on a naughty list.
Some of that is personal selection and active avoidance of films that simply didn’t interest me, but my Best of 2024 list is 30 films long that I have to somehow get down to 15-20. I say this so that you understand that I’m not coming from a place of malice, but rather an acknowledgment that not all films are created and equal, and some are just plain disappointing. So lets take a look at the 10 most disappointing films of 2024, according to me.
10. Gladiator 2
If you would’ve asked me at the beginning of the year if I thought “Gladiator 2” would be a massive misfire, I wouldn’t told you to eat crow. As unnecessary as this sequel was, I was as excited as anyone about the return to the coliseum. Unfortunately, I was left dismayed and bored at a shot for shot rehash of its predecessor without any of the same charm or practicality. A film that screams “We’ll fix it in post,” “Gladiator 2” looks and feels as lazy as sequels come. An incoherent and unispiring narrative with garish visuals and shoddy special effects, the film left me cold and sad. It’s saving grace is “Training Day” Alonso in ancient Rome, played by an over the top Denzel Washington. It’s him and him alone that breaths life into the soulless cash grab, and “Gladiator 2” is only interesting when he’s onscreen. It’s a bummer that this makes the cut for me, but it fits all the criteria of a disappointing film.
Rome would’ve been fine if we would’ve just let Dondis rule.
9. Red One
“Red One” is not the worst film of the year, and it’s not nearly as awful as I thought it would be. But it’s also not good, either. It is wholly forgettable, generic, middling and far too safe to ever be interesting. “Red One” exists in a strange purgatory of audience, leaving many people to ask who is this actually for? It’s not dumb enough to be for children and not smart enough to be for adults, rarely blending any of its humor and action into any kind of enjoyable harmony. “Red One” is also a bastion of the corporate industrial complex, literally hinging its premise on the efficiency of a militarized workforce and priding itself in success of the corporate machine of Christmas. That is a bonkers premise to say the least. It’s as if “Red One” is a test to see what the reaction would be when Amazon inevitably buys the exclusive rights to Christmas, and the film kind stands by that absurdity as a good thing. “Red One” is bland, uninspired, and ugly, exactly the kind of streaming fodder that has overtaken cinema in the worst of ways. I think the stock is down on Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Chris Evans needs to fire his agent.
8. Wolfs
Speaking of wasted streaming fodder, “Wolfs” ranks as a slightly more disappointing contender. While a George Clooney and Brad Pitt reunion is always welcomed, “Wolfs” squanders away their charm and onscreen chemistry at every turn, actively working overtime to stifle anything they can do together to deliver the most dull, uninspired, nonsensical streaming shlock imaginable. Both men are as bored as the material they’re given, and “Wolfs” meanders about with the hopes that the bickering duo can just riff long enough to make you forget there’s supposed to be a movie happening around them. Nothing works in “Wolfs,” and I found myself nodding off in the theater and constantly asking why this has to exist, to which the film never once justifies. You know I’m advocate for theatrical release, but “Wolfs” is the most Apple TV Films no one will watch because no one has the service you can possibly make. Do better, Jon Watts. Do better. You can read my full review here.
7. Horizon: An American Saga Part 1
Narcissistic passion projects aren’t new to the Hollywood machine, but few are as big of a swing and a miss as Kevin Costner’s “Horizon: An America Saga Part 1.” He does get beat out on this list, but wow was this a slog to get through. And he wants to make 3 more of these? No thank you, Costner. “Horizon” is the most exhausting, confounding, confusing, well shot, decently directed, TV show posing as a movie of the year. The whole time this overly long, indecipherable western was unfolding, I kept thinking “…but we have ‘Yellowstone’ at home.” I’m not even a Costner hater; I actually quite enjoy a large portion of his filmography and performances. But “Horizon” coasts on the goodwill of his Hollywood legacy and warm embrace rather than its own merits. There just isn’t enough happening in this to have me even the slightest bit interested in what comes next. You can read my full review here.
6. IF
They don’t make ’em like they used to, and “IF” is the pejorative connotation of that turn of phrase. A disaster from start to finish, the film is as exhausting as it is forgettable. Grating and incomprehensible, “IF” has a prime example of talented people coming together to make one of the most disappointing family films of the decades. Everyone from John Krazinski to Ryan Reynolds to Steve Carrell to a plethora of other random cameos is better than this, and even at its most basic “it’s a movie for kids” still doesn’t have enough juice or imagination to be enjoyable. I walked asking what “IF” this was watchable?
5. Argylle
It’s honestly shocking that someone as talented as Matthew Vaughn managed to make one of the ugliest looking films of 2024. “Argylle” wastes just about every single thing it has going for it, from its rehashed hodgepodge of spy novel mumbo jumbo to its star studded cast to the most visually repulsive special effects imaginable. “Argylle” exists without a thought of its own, unfolding like a montage of recent spy films Vaughn had been watching recently and decided to string them together into something that resembles a coherent film. Like many other films on this list, absolutely no one in this film should be, and everyone deserves better than “Argylle.” I’m convinced Samuel L. Jackson made the entire film from his own vineyard and was never actually on set. Come to think of it, he may not even know he was ever IN “Argylle,” they just filmed him watching basketball in his home for a day and sent the check in the mail.
4. Madame Web
I didn’t see “Kraven” because I was in the Amazon researching spiders with Cassandra Webb’s mom right before she died. “Madame Web” is an awful movie going experience, packed with some of the worst dialogue and line readings you’ll see and hear all year. And for the first time in probably ever, even casual moviegoers were left googling ADR. It’s a post production effect that, when done right is virtually undetectable. “Madame Web” is the exception, because Tahar Rahim never actually says a single word onscreen. It just one of the many baffling choices that plague the film, and it is easily one of the worst films to come out this year. Manic editing, inexplicable line readings, nonsensical story telling and easily one of the most chaotic final acts of the year, “Madame Web” gets just about everything wrong a film could get wrong and we are worse off for it existing. You can read my full review here.
3. Borderlands
If “tell me you’ve never played the games without telling me you’ve never played the games” was a movie, “Borderlands” is that film. I’m a big fan of the game series, and I will raise my hand and say I was excited to finally see something on the big screen. Of course, I was immediately filled with regret and the realization that Eli Roth has absolutely no idea what he’s doing here and not even working off a cliff notes version of the source material. Every character exists in name only, and “Borderlands” somehow manages to remove everything that makes the games fun to play. It is completely soulless, just plain junk in the worst of ways and the kind of garbage that would’ve been decent in 1995. “Borderlands” is the definition of disappointment, and I hope we stop letting people who don’t care make films about things we do care about. Full review here.
2. Rebel Moon – All of Them
If Zack Snyder would just let someone tell him no and make him realize he’s not actually a director or a screenwriter but a cinematographer, he would probably have an Oscar by now. But alas, we live in a world where snyderbros gas him up as a god among men after every turd he shits out on us, and “Rebel Moon” is no exception. It is an exhausting discourse and one I’m tired of having with people who can’t be convinced that Snyder makes bad movies often. It doesn’t matter, “Rebel Moon” (all versions and parts) is a travesty and were it not for another egotistical, narcissistic filmmaker, this would take the number one spot. At least that guy has earned the right to be bad. Though technically a 2023 release (the first part), “The Scargiver” and the director’s cut of Part 1 both released in 2024, and they are both as awful as the first, just longer and dumber. Snyder has not, and it’s time to stop giving him money to make shit like “Rebel Moon.” Just let him shoot and stop letting him do anything else. Please. Cinema can’t take much of more this. Full review here.
1. Megalopolis
Who knew the man who has made arguably the greatest film in history would make one of the worst of the decade? I’ve said a lot about “Megalopolis” so I’m not going to rehash it here. Francis Ford Coppola is a legend and will go down in history as one of the greatest filmmakers of all time. But legacy doesn’t excuse bad filmmaking, and “Megalopolis” isn’t above reproach just because the guy also made “The Godfather.” Let’s be grownups and admit that even the greats make bad choices from time to time. Unfortunately, every single choice in “Megalopolis” is a bad one, and I have never wanted to get up and leave a theater more than sitting through this film. Like any film, it is bound to have its defenders, but bold swings only work when they land and nothing in “Megalopolis” hits its mark. There are no participation trophies here. It is bad on every level of filmmaking, and deserves to be in the number one spot as the most disappointing film of the year. Full review here.
