Everyone deals with sickness and illness in life. From seasonal colds to stomach bugs to serious cases of pneumonia and the flu, no one gets out unscathed. Still, no amount of sickness can prepare you for hearing the dreaded “C” word in the examination room: cancer. It’s as if the world stops for a moment, and life as you know it changes in an instant.
Being diagnosed with cancer will undoubtedly be one of the scariest and most stressful times in a person’s life. As a friend to someone with cancer, you can be a huge help. One way to be of help is by spearheading the creation of a support network. A good support system can help your friend tremendously during such a hard time.
These three simple steps will help you to create a support network for your friend:
1. Identify Key People
Following a cancer diagnosis, people will naturally rally and offer support in any way they can. It takes an army, and as a friend to someone with cancer, you want that army to be well-coordinated. Even though everyone will rally to support, each person likely has strengths. Family is usually better at offering emotional support. Coworkers, on the other hand, can offer practical support like signing up for a meal train.
It’s important to identify key people in a support network so that your friend has the types of support needed. Types of support can include emotional, practical, and financial. Some people offer several types of support. A friend could spend time with them (emotional), take you to doctor appointments (practical), and contribute to a GoFundMe (financial). But it’s still important to make sure all the bases are covered.
Understanding types of support will help you identify people best suited for offering it. Here are different types of support a friend with cancer might need.
Emotional Support
Emotional support is absolutely necessary for anyone who has just been diagnosed with cancer. A person can offer emotional support by spending time with someone, talking to them, and listening to them. Get well gifts are also great for brightening someone’s day and showing that you care. Family and close friends are usually best suited for this type of support. Still, make sure you identify specific people, and schedule a rotation.
Practical Support
On top of the whirlwind of emotions, anyone faced with a cancer diagnosis instantly becomes more busy. Busy going to doctor appointments, focusing on their health, and ensuring that their life stays as normal as possible. Small, routine tasks might suddenly feel overwhelming. Identify people who can offer practical support. People who can drive them to the doctor, watch their kids if they have any, and do weekly grocery runs are especially helpful. Contributing in a small way makes a big difference.
Financial Support
The costs that come with having cancer can be stressful for an individual and their family. According to the American Cancer Society, families typically pay an estimated $5.6 billion annually in out-of-pocket expenses for treatments. If people in a support network can help, even in the smallest way, it will mean so much. Identify someone who can set up a GoFundMe and share it with friends, co-workers, etc. Having the right people who are willing to offer any support is key.
2. Assign Roles and Responsibilities
Once you’ve identified key people and what types of support they can provide, assign specific roles and responsibilities. Here are a few tasks your friend might need help with.
Cooking
Someone with low energy won’t want to cook three meals every day. Make sure you have someone who can help with cooking while your friend is battling cancer. Organizing a Meal Train can ensure multiple meals are covered without too much overlap.
Cleaning
Cleaning can also be exhausting, it requires a lot of energy and motivation. Assign someone the job of cleaning your friend’s house, doing yard work, or cleaning out their car. Being surrounded by a mess can add more stress to anyone’s life; make sure this doesn’t happen to your friend.
Running Errands
Having the time and ability to run weekly errands is something we all take for granted. Help out a friend by making trips to the grocery store or the drugstore to pick up toiletries and prescriptions.
Doctor Appointments
Someone being treated for cancer will probably see the doctor’s office or hospital more than they see their own home. Because of this, it’s important to not only have rides arranged, but to keep your friend organized. Make phone calls if appointments still need to be made. Buy a calendar and write down the dates and times of appointments. It’s one less thing they have to worry about.
As soon as cancer becomes a reality in someone’s life, things become hectic. With a support network and a plan, it doesn’t have to be.
3. Create a Communication Plan
Last but not least, with so many cooks in the kitchen, make sure you have a communication plan. Everyone should know how to communicate with the person who has cancer, but also how to communicate with each other. What are the preferred methods of communication? Should you plan check-ins? Should email be used for long messages, while texting is used for quick notes?
It’s important to answer these questions and then come up with a plan for the journey ahead. Everyone should be acting as a team to ensure things go off without a hitch. There are numerous ways that a shared calendar can help a support group. A few benefits of shared calendars include customization, accessibility from anywhere at any time, and the ability to plan ahead.
A friend with cancer might feel as though the floor just fell from beneath them. If you’re unsure of what they need, help out by stepping in and creating a support network. It will help them in more ways than you can imagine, and without a doubt, they will be supported.
