Many dream of finding that special someone. Some people just give up on searching and create their own life partners. A few days ago, the trailer for Wicker featuring a well… wicker Alexander Skarsgård was posted on YouTube. The internet, being the internet, is still having a field day with the oddly seamy trailer surrounding a rattan ma, and now our feeds are nothing but Wicker memes.
The film is based on Ursula Wills-Jones’ short story, The Wicker Husband. It centers around a single fisherwoman (Olivia Colman) living in a small town. Not content to live her life alone, she makes a desperate plea to a local basketmaker (Peter Dinklage) to make her a husband. He agrees without any objection or hesitation. The town is freaked out at first by her new basket husband (Skarsgård) but seemingly accepts the relationship once they see how happy she is. At least on the surface, it doesn’t take long for her joy to spark anger and jealousy in others.
In the under 3-minute trailer, at least 5 pretty pointed references to sex are made. This caused a lot of people to take to the internet with serious logistical questions. Because Skarsgård sports a full-on wicker suit for this, meaning there is a chance we may see some wicker whang.
Wicker Whangs
Even if we don’t get the full monty, that still leaves a lot of concerns about splinters. This phallo-centric questioning has led to some delightful memes about a possible penis-shaped, wicker popcorn bucket. Which we would have to admit might beat out (or off) The Boys in terms of dick-shaped popcorn buckets, and that’s a contest with no real winners or losers.
Then IKEA got in on the action and offered up a line of wicker options made of “Husband Material.” Though for legal reasons we feel we must say, don’t have sex WITH anything you buy from IKEA. Mostly because trying to assemble flat-pack furniture while horney sounds like its own special ring of hell. Secondly, and the internet’s concern, splintering because it’s wicker, which isn’t the most… biocompatible material… if you catch our drift.
Some have tried to justify it, explaining that if properly treated it doesn’t splinter. But we can’t say that anyone seems gungho to try it out unless Alexander Skarsgård is involved. However, we once again must ask you not to put wicker inside yourself.
Wicker is co-written and directed by Alex Huston Fischer and Eleanor Wilson. It also stars Elizabeth Debicki, Ella Bruccoleri, and Richard E. Grant. After premiering at the Sundance Film Festival, the movie will get a wide release on October 30th. You can check out the trailer for yourself below:
