We’re back with another edition of Urban Legend: Fact or Fiction. In this chapter, we are going to look at how a family accidentally became cannibals. So buckle up, because this one is a weird ride.
The Story
Around World War 2 a family moved from Europe to America but kept in touch with their relatives back home. They would exchange letters and care packages consisting of various regional treats about once a month. After a year of this, there was a several months-long silence from the recently emigrated family members to their European kin. While worrisome, they wrote it off as the family got too busy and didn’t have time to send them something. That was until they received an unlabeled canister wrapped in fancy tissue paper. No note was attached so they assumed it was some kind of powdered food, like hot cocoa mix.
They began mixing the grey powder into hot milk and water. The mixture was lumpy, but it tasted okay and the family wasn’t going to say no to free food. A week later, after half of the canister’s contents were consumed, a letter arrived from the U.S. explaining that their Aunt Mable had died. In her last few months, she has been homesick and asked for her ashes to be sent back to the family to scatter in her hometown. It also explained that they hoped this wouldn’t be an inconvenience and that the ashes would be sent separately…. In a metal canister… wrapped in tissue paper…
The family quickly scattered what was left of Aunt Mable in her favorite childhood park.
Variants
One major thing to keep in mind with this legend is that powdered food was still new on the market around WW2. So some grittiness, lumping, or not tasting all that great can be chalked up to these products being in their infancy.
In some variations, this dietary faux pas is more understandable since the ashes are sent in a reused food container, like a hot chocolate powder tin. In some versions, the letter arrives along with the package. However, it is at the bottom of the box and not discovered until everything has been consumed. Some perplexing deviations also have a note at the bottom of the canister. We aren’t sure why anyone would put a note explaining these are human remains at the bottom of the container. Considering it would only be discovered if the ashes were removed for some reason.
Flaws in logic aside, sometimes when the note arrives with the package it is written in English. The problem arises because no one in the home speaks English. The horrifying mistake isn’t discovered until someone comes over who can translate it. This one is a bit more understandable if the remains and note were sent by the funeral home, who may not have known about the language barrier.
Our beloved Aunt Mable has also been made into everything from hot beverages to pancakes and cakes, or just a general spice to add a pinch of morbid zest to any meal. In 1990 a BBC Radio broadcast had a listener write in telling a version of this story. Their family supposedly mixed the ashes of an Australian relative into their Christmas pudding. The desert was half devoured by the time they realized their error. They buried the leftover pudding rest of the ashes.
Some readers may also be reminded of the legend about a body being hidden in a vat of honey or a keg of alcohol. Of course, only to be discovered once all/a large portion was consumed. We’ll handle that one in a different installment since that version has strong ties to naval slang.
Themes
The biggest consistent theme in The Accidental Cannibal legend is mistakenly consuming something gross. It’s safe to say most people have an aversion to putting something like human remains into their mouth, doubly so if it’s a loved one.
There is often a misunderstanding about new technology considering how new powdered food products were at the time. Many regions were suffering food shortages due to the war so families abroad regularly sent whatever shelf-stable edibles they could.
In the version where the note is written in another language, there is some cultural commentary about communication barriers. Some readers may recall rumblings about countries denying American baby formula since their packaging often has babies on the label. Supposedly leading to the misconception that these formulas weren’t meant to feed babies but instead were made FROM babies.
Most people have probably consumed food from another culture that they weren’t entirely sure what it was made of. Or couldn’t read the menu at a restaurant since it was in a foreign language. The Accidental Cannibals is just that awkward exchange cranked up to eleven.
Pop Culture
This legend is also a rare case where we were unable to track down a pop culture representation aside from the aforementioned BBC radio broadcast. While scenes like Eric Cartman feeding Scott Tenorman his own parents on “South Park.” Or when Dr. Frank-N-Furter reveals that they’ve all been eating “Eddie under glass” in “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” springs to mind. They both have one fatal flaw for inclusion, someone knew the food was human remains.
In The Accidental Cannibals legend, no one knew or intentionally tried to deceive someone into eating their loved one(s). Making this story more about a comedy of human errors than malice like the provided examples.
Is it Real?
The other example from pop culture that may come to mind is Casie from a 2011 episode of “My Strange Addiction.” In dealing with the sudden loss of her husband she began coping by eating his ashes. Again this was an act knowingly done in the depths of grief. Casis was very aware of what she was doing, and her cannibalism, while sad, was not accidental.
As it stands there seem to be no real-world examples of someone unknowingly eating the cremated remains of another human. At least not given to them by someone who didn’t know that they would be inadvertently consumed. Some families may be living with this as their deep dark secret. No one has ever come forward with a confession of being an accidental cannibal, in this fashion.
We even consulted with three people in the death care industry for this piece. “So, when cremains are swept out of the retort, there are chunks of bones (I have seen fully intact skulls in there too), pieces of hardware from the casket, artificial hips, metal that was in grandpa’s head, etc,” CANA certified, Amanda Henry, explains. “That is all swept up and into a metal container underneath where the body was burnt. Then, a large magnet is run through the chunks of cremains to get all the metal stuff out. After this, all those chunky bits are put into a machine called a pulverizer (literally called that) that is essentially a giant mixer, and when it comes out it’s all smooth, powdery cremains that are then inurned.”
Is It Even Possible?
Lee “Waffle” Jackson says the end product has “a nice even grain akin to something nearly sand like. Could it be mistaken for cocoa powder? Perhaps. But it’s much more of a sand like consistency than anything from what we use.” Even if the pulverizer wasn’t available during World War 2, odds are the bone would have been processed using hand tools, he points out.
“In my opinion in working in death care for over 9 years I would say mistaking cremated remains for cocoa powder would not be realistic,” said a professional who wishes to remain anonymous. “The texture and colour are completely different.”
Even with the uniform consistency, all three agreed mistaking it for food was possible but extremely unlikely. Given its texture, coloration, and not to mention it probably doesn’t taste great either.
Print Sources Used
Proud, James. “Uncle Roger.” Urban Legends Bizarre Tales You Won’t Believe, Skyhorse, 2018, p. 229-230.
Brunvand, J. H. “The Accidental Cannibals.” In Encyclopedia of Urban Legends, W. W. Norton and Company, 2001, pp. 3.
Brunvand, J. H. “The Accidental Cannibals.” Too Good to be True: The colossal book of urban legends, W. W. Norton and Company, 2014, pp. 198-199.
