Things That Shouldn't Exist But Do: Possum Candy Canes

For some reason, 2023 is the year for crimes against food. Possum Candy Canes are a real thing, thanks to Archie McPhee and their eclectic candy flavors. Christmas will truly never be the same, not with this flavor on the market.

The nocturnal creature, known for taking better pictures from the front and not the side, isn’t something normally associated with a candy flavor. Archie McPhee insists the canes contain the “garbage-fueled flavor” of possums. Apparently possums have a porky flavor from all their garbage rummaging.

The package contains a set of six 5-1/4″ canes colored pink and grey. They grey stripe contains the “porky possum” goodness. Thankfully its artificial possum flavoring. However one is left with the question of how this artificial flavor was obtained? Also, who is the authority on if possums taste like pork or not?

If you thought Mustard Skittles was the weirdest food combo you’d hear about for the month of August, Archie McPhee said “Hold my beer.” How could anyone look at an animal, known for having miniature heart attacks over the smallest reason, and think they’d make a good candy flavor? Why would anyone want anything that tastes like possum, especially candy?

If you are curious enough to try this candy catastrophe, it is available for $6.95 here. Not even the flirty hissing of a possum could get me to bring these candy canes from the garbage can to my Christmas tree. Archie McPhee definitely lives up to their slogan, “We make weird.”