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The Nerd Side Of Life

Man (Allegedly) Uses Wig, Rectum to Smuggle $40k Worth of Gold

In the late Glenn Frey‘s solo song “Smuggler’s Blues,” the former Eagle sings “It’s a losing proposition, but one you can’t refuse. It’s the politics of contraband, it’s the smuggler’s blues.”

Who knows how much Glenn actually knew about the smuggling business, but a recent arrest in New Delhi has certainly left a man with the blues after $40,000 worth of gold was found hidden on him…and in him.

Photo by James St. John  licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.

An unnamed man was traveling from Abu Dhabi to New Delhi, but was swiftly arrested when he departed his flight. No reason was listed for why officials were suspicious of the man to begin with, but in searching for a reason we discovered some other information. It seems like gold smuggling through India is not exactly a new phenomenon. An article from the Miami Herald reported a man was arrested in the country for attempting to smuggle 2 pounds worth of gold in his rectum in order to avoid taxes.

And let’s be honest, if you look at the picture, they kind of look like giant gold, flat turds.

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So yeah, of the $40,000 worth of gold that was found in this latest arrest from April 24th, 2022, some of it was in the man’s rectum. The rest was more conveniently and I’d have to imagine more comfortably, placed in a compartment underneath the man’s wig. It was melted down though, since you’d probably need a pretty big wig to hide like, a gold bar on your head.

Unfortunately not only was the man caught, but the image looks so ridiculous that it’s hard not to make jokes about it. For example, who would’ve thought it was so important to smuggle processed cheese singles like that! Or how the whole situation makes his head look like a short order chef was making his scalp sunny side up! Seriously though, what kind of karat gold melts down to the point that it looks like Kraft? Is that what the K in 24K ACTUALLY stands for?

Further investigations are taking place but it seems like it really is just connected to the idea of having to hide gold in order to have to avoid paying taxes and customs on it. So if you’ve ever wondered how much you’d have to pay someone to stick gold up their butt, you know the price is around $40,000. If you’re a shrewd negotiator though, you can probably talk someone down from that figure; it’s not like it’s written in stone… actually probably best not to know what that’s written in. …Anywhere, here’s that Glenn Frey song I mentioned earlier.

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