Are those some exotic birds in your pants, or are you just happy to see me? For Jesse Agus Martinez, a US citizen living in Mexico, it seems to be the former. A federal grand jury has indicted him for illegally importing two orange-fronted parakeets in his trousers.
On October 23rd, Martinez’s bizarre plan was busted when he tried to cross the border at the Otay Mesa Port of Entry. Around 12:50 P.M., he was sent to secondary inspection after a Customs and Border Protection officer noticed a bulge in his groin area.
Despite Martinez’s repeated claims that the bulge was his “pirrin,” a Spanish word for penis. Officers weren’t buying it because we’ve all heard that line before. But also, because he’d been busted for smuggling birds into the United States before.
When they inspected his bulge, they found two brown sacks, each with an orange-fronted parakeet. The birds were alive and breathing but heavily sedated. U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service agents and inspectors were called in and confirmed the birds are a protected species, and have been since 2005.
These parakeets are now in quarantine at the Department of Agriculture Animal Import Center. They are thankfully being reported as being in stable condition.
Nerdbot does not condone smuggling birds in your pants, but if you must, try some baggy trousers:
