Remember a few years back when various official and unofficial mascots went viral, like the Super Bowl’s Left Shark and Philadelphia Flyers’ Gritty? Well, they all now pale in comparison to college football’s self-sacrificing mascot, Strawberry. A mascot who died to feed hungry athletes, let’s see Gritty do that!
On December 28th, Kellogg’s put on its first rebranded Pop-Tarts Bowl while simultaneously introducing the first-ever edible mascot. Even though the college games had been sponsored by the company in the past, it was known as the Cheeto’s Bowl. At the end of those games, coaches would have buckets of the snack cracker dumped on their heads instead of the traditional water or sports drink. Apparently, the company wanted to outdo itself once the Kansas State Wildcats and the North Carolina State Wolfpack were done squaring off.
After the Kansas State Wildcats won the game, a Pop-Tarts mascot named Strawberry stole the show. This hero was lowered into a massive toaster, with a plastered-on frosted smile. They held up a sign saying “Dreams really do come true,” while the Donna Summer classic “Hot Stuff” echoed through the stadium. As we watched our champion descend into the fiery abyss, an announcer could be heard saying, “RIP in peace. Can’t wait to eat you.”
Once our friendly neighborhood pastry had been cooked alive, a massive and full edible Pop-Tart was spit out at the bottom. Even though the cooking process removed its arms and legs, the players still swarmed to consume the remains. In what can only be described as the most gory communion ever.
The internet soon went wild with shitposts about this because what else were we supposed to do? Some amazing memes about this are trending on X (formerly Twitter) right now. Our personal favorite is the genius who re-scored the footage with the music from the end of “Terminator 2.”
RIP sweet Strawberry, thank you for your service.
