Thanks to a podcast where Conan O’Brien and co-hosts Sona Movsesian and Matt Gourley interviewed NASA contractor Smythe Mulikan, a conversation about whether astronauts were advised to not masturbate in space has sparked. The episode of “Conan Needs a Friend” aired July 21st, and was titled “Space Porn.”
The episode is fairly crass. If mentions of porn, masturbation, and naked astronaut scenarios offend you, we apologize. Since “Space Porn” released, there have been many discussions about whether or not NASA has actively discouraged masturbation in space.
On the podcast, they joked that just one time of zero gravity emissions would “be able to impregnate three female astronauts,” assuming they were naked just floating around the spacecraft. (Mulikan was not part of the conversation where they jokingly made up stuff about what would happen in this scenario.)
CONAN: “Were someone to be watching space porn on the space station, how does that work?”
GOURLEY: “Three female astronauts can be impregnated by the same man from the same session.”
CONAN: “Because the semen flies around?”
GOURLEY: “Uh-huh. And finds its way.”
MOVESIAN: “And the women are all naked?”
GOURLEY: “Well it’s space porn.”
Many outlets ran stories featuring the above quotes as if Mulikan had said them himself. This confused readers, and prompted a Snopes article. NASA neither confirmed nor denied discouraging masturbation in space when asked for comment.
Russia Offered Sex Doll to Cosmonaut
While NASA may not be saying much about the scenario, Russia has. In fact, they offered cosmonaut Valeri Polyakov an inflatable sex doll for his 14-month trip. Thanks to diary entries from Polyakov, we know he was also sent some risqué films to watch during his mission. He declined the doll.
“Some people asked me about different ways of compensating for a sexual abstention in space, particularly about using a doll which you can buy in a sex shop. I strongly opposed such a solution,” ” Polyakov noted in his diary. “A man who is using such things may develop a so-called doll syndrome, or in other words, to start preferring the doll to his own wife or a girlfriend. No need to say what we’re longing for. Everyone knows. Men think about ‘those things.’ “
It’s Like Homer and Potato Chips?
Remember when Homer went to space on “The Simpsons?” If just one poorly opened bag of a potato chips can cause such a ruckus in space, we see where the problem would come in. If it were to be an uncontained release of liquid, it’s possible it could “clog up the instruments” like they say in the iconic scene.
So given that information, it is PROBABLY ok to masturbate in space. If you do have some private time in zero gravity…just be aware of possible situations that may arise.