I think we all know that Ryan Reynolds is a charmer. From his days on “Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place” to his recent work as The Merc with a Mouth, this Vancouverite is a hot property. Apparently he’s so hot, that he’s received his own (unofficial) coloring book courtesy of illustrator Maurizio Campidelli. So what’s inside this lusty compilation of crafty coloring pages? Well, let’s take a long, leering look.
For starters, you’re getting 35 hand-drawn ‘daydreams,’ as the product page puts it. Say what you will about the coloring book, but if this artist has managed to actually capture daydreams on paper, then we need to get this dude in a science lab immediately. They’re corporealizing dreams onto paper! That’s got to be worthy of a Nobel Prize or something, right? Plus you get “biographical information about his life and work.” You know, in case you haven’t heard of Wikipedia or “the internet” which you presumably used to buy this book in the first place.
But just you look at that sexy charmer though. There he is making a martini strictly through tapping a barrel of some kind of alcohol. Maybe it’s bourbon, maybe it’s whiskey, maybe he’s born with it, maybe it’s Maybelline. All I know is that he’s making a drink typically comprised of gin and vermouth using straight up, one tap. Not only is that impressive, but he knows it, which is why he’s winking at us so seductively.
Or what about here where Ryan is giving us his best, “come hither” look while lounging on a bed that appears to be in a medieval stone shack. Actually maybe that’s not even a come hither look, maybe that’s a, “the mutton was supremely undercooked” look and now he’s nauseous. Either way, he’s surrounded by sheets and curtains and even has a globe placed on his desk to show how cultured he is. That’s right, Ryan isn’t just going to love you and treat you right, he’s going to show you the world. Which, I’ll be honest here, I really want to know why there’s a globe. Like, we didn’t NEED a globe in the picture, so why of all things is it a globe? Why not flowers or a basket of fruit or something?
Anyway, this thirst trap coloring book can be yours right now. Order it on Amazon here.
So if you have a hankering for some Ryan Reynolds and you’re thinking to yourself, “I am not mildly aroused enough by my arts and activity books,” then this is what you’ve been looking for. You can also enjoy the paradoxical element of how this book can help give your life some new meaning while realizing that the existence of the book itself suggests that life has no meaning.
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