Sometimes, just simply having a good time at the movies is enough. Experiencing a film that functions exactly as advertised can deliver a satisfying time, and They Will Kill You does just that. A no frills, all gas no breaks blood fest that wears its inspirations on its sleeve but is having an absolute ball playing out its wildest fantasies. Sure, it’s derivative and hard to feel original or unique in the wake of Kill Bill and more recently Ready or Not, but operating under that umbrella isn’t such a bad thing considering the company it’s keeping. There’s plenty of worse for wear copycats out there, and They Will Kill You is executed with strong filmmaking prowess and a made for action star that help drive this balls to the wall horror action comedy.
I’m quite the sucker for min-max filmmaking – delivering maximalist antics on a minimal budget will never not be interesting to me and They Will Kill You fits perfectly into that wheelhouse. Kirill Sokolov is certainly given a larger budget than his previous film Why Don’t You Just Die (one I enjoy slightly more than this mostly due to the single setting location and tightly wound premise allows for a more restrained approach to the same level of violence and one I highly recommend you check out before this) but isn’t quite given a blank check for this follow up. Regardless, he makes the most of every single dollar he’s given, loading They Will Kill You with practical effects, Italian horror blood splatter pastiche and clever production design all used to create its creepy, old building aesthetic.
No one is having as much fun as Sokolov, who makes an absolute meal out of his abilities to experiment with the camera and violence. Written and directed by Kirill Sokolov, They Will Kill You keeps its premise simple and carnage big. Asia (Zazie Beets) and Maria Reeves (Myha’la) are sisters fleeing from their abusive father. After a violent confrontation in which Asia shoots her dad, they are separated for 10 years while Asia is in prison. Set on finding and rescuing her sister, she answers an add for a maid under false pretenses and is welcomed into the Vigil to work. Of course, she’s not really a made and the Vigil is actually a temple to Satan and needs a human sacrifice. They messed with the wrong bitch and she messed with the wrong cult, and before long the fight for survival turns into a blood soaked, violent rampage to stay alive and save her sister. They Will Kill You also stars Tom Felton, Heather Graham, Paterson Joseph and Patricia Arquette.
There’s actually a few twists to the story that layer the fun and up the ante of what Sokolov can do to dispatch his satanists caught in the sights of his protagonist. They Will Kill You is much more effective if you don’t know some of these tricks up his sleeve heading in, so if you can avoid spoilers it will surely enhance some of the fun there is to be had. There’s certainly a repetitive nature to the story, both in what it’s about and how it goes about it. There’s some who are sure to find its exhausting rather exciting, tracking one set piece after another as a way to show off what Sokolov can do in camera rather than actually trying to push the flimsy story forward. I’d argue that if you’re coming to They Will Kill You for the plot, you’re probably seated for the wrong movie.
They’re valid criticisms, though. While I delighted in its demented ideas, it’s hard not to see how Sokolov is more like a kid in a playground smashing toys together aimlessly than really trying to make a statement of his own. There’s even some restraint in his balls to the wall approach, teasing ideas that could truly send They Will Kill You over the edge but stopping short to indulge in other ones. It’s not enough to derail it all, but even for everything it gives you – and it certainly gives audiences plenty – there is still a part of you that is left wanting. It delivers far more than it holds back though, and what it chooses to go all in on is unhinged in all the right ways and more than enough to satiate the bloodlust of gorefest fans.
Zazie Beetz is born to be an action star, making for a solid final girl who feels right at home swinging a fire axe, sending enemies across the room with shotgun blasts or chopping off limbs with a samurai sword. She takes the action seriously and the rest of it not, a perfect blend for a protagonist in something as silly as They Will Kill You. Arquette is attempting what I think is an Irish accent? but seems to be enjoying herself as well as the head of the cult. Both Felton and Graham are fine but largely wasted as Sokolov is more concerned with displaying the carnage and soaking the set in blood than he is developing any of the characters we meet along the way.
They Will Kill You is B movie magic, a deeply unserious, bloody ride that kicks all kinds of ass. Sokolov proves he’s a very capable filmmaker, and I’m on the train for whatever he wants to do next. With a bit of refinement and even more shackles removed, I think he can really be the next great voice in this kind of subgenre. I won’t fault anyone for letting the very obvious inspirations serve as a detractor and it does start to get away from itself as it gets into its insane final act. But I find it hard not to have a blast with something like this. Popcorn cinema at its finest, They Will Kill You exists solely to entertain. It’s a just girl fighting a satanic cult with as many weapons as she can get her hands on in the bloodiest fashion you can imagine. Do you really need more than that to have a good time at the movies?
Eh, you might. And that’s fair, I understand and this just may not be for you. But for me, They Will Kill You is exactly the kind of film I needed and didn’t disappoint, giving me exactly what I came for. Sometimes, that’s all a movie needs to do to be successful.
Go ahead and greenlight that Beetz/Weaving vs. Satanic Cultists crossover we didn’t know we needed.
Rating: 7 out of 10
