This is not a pleasant article to be writing by any metric. Earlier this week, Perez Hilton, the renowned blogger and celebrity reporter, did something extremely disturbing and dangerous. We want to talk about this without being sensational or lurid. We also want to use this as an opportunity to talk about self-harm. Anyone is capable of it, and it doesn’t matter how famous, wealthy, popular, or successful someone is.
What Happened to Perez Hilton?
To get the basic facts out of the way, Hilton did a TikTok livestream that featured him cutting himself with a knife. TikTok suspended his account, but the internet being what it is, the video can be found online. We strongly recommend not looking for it. For the sake of accuracy in reporting, we watched it. It’s bad. It’s the kind of thing you never want to see a person suffer through.
Reports state that he was taken to the hospital and is currently receiving treatment. Our thoughts, prayers, and well-wishes go out to him and his loved ones. If any of them ever happen to read this, we are sincerely wishing for the best. That’s also why we wanted to take the moment to talk about understanding this.
Everyone is Capable of Self-Harm
Self-harm and suicidal thoughts can potentially occur with anyone. If someone says about another person, “they’re not the type of person to commit suicide,” they’re unfortunately incorrect. Everyone has the potential to do something like this; it’s just that the likelihood is different from one person to another. Certain stressors can cause different reactions in different people. Some people can take a catastrophic health diagnosis in relative stride. Others end up taking their own lives. Sometimes it’s a medical condition with a chemical imbalance that can lead to these things. There’s a horrible, terrible irony in how some antidepressants increase the risk of suicide.
When it comes to Perez, we can’t know what he’s going through, and we won’t speculate. That’s not our place, and it’s certainly not helpful to someone already going through something.
Oftentimes, acts like this are about a means of feeling control. Not all the time, obviously. But for many, inflicting harm on oneself is a way of controlling how they’re feeling and knowing that they’re the one causing the pain. It’s by their own hand that they’re impacting themself instead of outside forces.
Perez Hilton is Not Alone
The less graphic and dangerous form of this is seen when someone radically alters their appearance. Many of us remember when Britney Spears shaved her head. It became fodder for many a media outlet, except for Craig Ferguson. Keep in mind, Craig is someone who has openly admitted to wanting to kill himself.
Live streaming self-harm is a more recent trend thanks to the relative ease of setting up an account to stream. That and the availability of smartphones that can record and be connected to the internet. It’s all extremely easy to do. So if someone wants to share their pain, grief, trauma, they can do it. And it’s easy to judge and assume that someone just wants attention. When we are hurting, though, we’re not who we are at heart. Pain, like anxiety, activates the part of our brain that does not function on logic and reason. No one should judge us for who we are at these moments.
The Concept of Equilibrium
We also need to remember that we all exist in our own equilibrium. You may recall during the great recession of the late 2000’s, there were wealthy individuals who took their own lives. They weren’t homeless or destitute, but their equilibrium was so unbalanced that they ended up taking their lives. News articles have mentioned Perez Hilton moving from Las Vegas to Florida and being a single parent. While they’re not directly insinuating that this was a cause, it’s still trying to imply things that may or may not be true.
Here’s what we have to say about that: not even Perez might know why he did what he did. This is the kind of thing that sometimes takes help from a professional to get to the root of. Was it stress-induced? Is there an underlying medical condition? Not our place to guess. Understanding your own triggers, stressors, and overall health is not always an easy task. It’s also not one you can always accomplish on your own. So if that’s a lesson you want to take from this, please do. Understand what causes you to stress and try to know and understand that in the people you love and hold close.
Suicide, Self-Harm – Terrifyingly Commonplace
Everyone is capable of doing what Perez Hilton did in some form or fashion. We can just hope that we’re never pushed to that point by our own physical and mental health. There’s the saying that “suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” There’s truth to that, but truth, logic, and reason don’t mean much to people who are wracked with pain. It’s something we need to remember, though regularly. That way, if we have a point of clarity in the midst of turmoil, it’s there for us to hold onto. And when a friend or family member is in despair, we can remind them of that wisdom.
Again, our hearts go out to Perez Hilton right now. We hope you get through all this and that things get better. We’d also ask others not to look at this moment as him going crazy or being disturbed. Obviously this is evidence of a problem, but it’s a terrifyingly human moment more than anything. And now’s the time more than ever to act with humanity.
If you or someone you know is suffering from a mental health crisis, please reach out to 788 Lifeline. Help is available.
