What’s the worst present you could get someone? Big bag of hot dog crap? Anthrax? No, you’re not thinking big enough. The absolute worst thing in the world you could give to someone? We think we have the answer.
Cameo is a billion-dollar company that allows you to have any celebrity in their roster record a personal message and send it as a gift. It’s a great system, you can send birthday wishes from a pro wrestler, a marriage proposal from the star of some 80’s sitcom, anniversary love from a washed up Youtube personality, or graduate congratulations from a bargain bin musician, it’s all there on Cameo.
And now, in a horrid twist of the worst possible timelines, you can pay $500 of your hard earned monies, real cash dollars that you could be spending on any other gift under the sun, and send a personal message from Donald Trump Jr..
What would possess someone to send such a horror of a gift is truly beyond us. At what point does prankery go awry and turn the curve into the gesture of summoning this deeply pathetic man? Would you even send this to your worst enemy? What poor, blighted soul so crossed your path to require such a curse? What messages will people ask this ghoul to read out? What will tumble from Don Jr’s lips as he mumbles out his latest Cameo requests, what strange messages will emit from his chapped lips in the fugue state between last nights and this mornings’ possible coke haze? Or maybe Don Jr. just commissions himself, records them, and sends them out, desperately hoping that maybe one day his father will see one and finally take notice of him?