Buy Alien Abduction Insurance Now!
Are you afraid of an alien abduction? Do you have a family history of abduction? Could you be prime real estate for hybrid babies?
Fear not, friends, for you can buy alien abduction insurance!
To be fair, it’s actually a really good price at only $19.95 ($24.95 if you want a paper certificate) for a lifetime premium. If you are abducted by aliens or otherwise otherworldly entities, you (ABDUCTEE) are entitled to compensation and medical bills paid. You know, in case you need to get a tracking implant removed.
The Saint Lawrence Company (aka UFO Abduction Insurance Company) of Florida has you covered for all your abduction needs. Though if abduction occurs, you’ll need some solid proof for the payout. And if aliens want to have sex with you or eat you, the payout increases. Hooray? Hey, and they made a cameo in the movie Contact.
According to Grip, one insurer of alien abductees in London, other 30,000 people have bought their policy alone. Though if you are worried about a more human abduction in your future, there’s always kidnapping and ransom insurance. That’s apparently also a very real thing.
What weird insurance do you need? Let Nerdbot know in the comments!