Saturday, September 19, 2020

Buy Alien Abduction Insurance Now!

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Kurt Broz
THE Kurt Broz is not just a personality for Nerdbot, but he's also the editor-in-chief and a real live scientist! Born on the snowy shores of Lake Erie in good ol' Cleveland, Ohio, Kurt Broz has been there and back again, now residing in sunny Southern California. You can find THE Kurt Broz in cosplay, buying comics, hiking, and even writing for Nerdbot and WLFK Productions. He may be a child of the 80's but he is certainly a man of the world.

Are you afraid of an alien abduction? Do you have a family history of abduction? Could you be prime real estate for hybrid babies?

Fear not, friends, for you can buy alien abduction insurance!

To be fair, it’s actually a really good price at only $19.95 ($24.95 if you want a paper certificate) for a lifetime premium. If you are abducted by aliens or otherwise otherworldly entities, you (ABDUCTEE) are entitled to compensation and medical bills paid. You know, in case you need to get a tracking implant removed.

The Saint Lawrence Company (aka UFO Abduction Insurance Company) of Florida has you covered for all your abduction needs. Though if abduction occurs, you’ll need some solid proof for the payout. And if aliens want to have sex with you or eat you, the payout increases. Hooray? Hey, and they made a cameo in the movie Contact.

According to Grip, one insurer of alien abductees in London, other 30,000 people have bought their policy alone. Though if you are worried about a more human abduction in your future, there’s always kidnapping and ransom insurance. That’s apparently also a very real thing.

What weird insurance do you need? Let Nerdbot know in the comments!

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