It’s pretty simple: you’re either on board with “Cocaine Bear,” or you’re not. The straightforward simplicity of its premise doesn’t require a whole lot of discernment as to whether or not it’s in your wheelhouse. I think it’s safe to say that the film knows exactly who it’s for and why it exists, and largely delivers on the promise of drugs, violence, and bears. It has pretty much everything you’re expecting, though it does overstuff the narrative to the point of near disinterest.
If you come looking for a good time, one that is best suited for a crowd full of people who can all revel in the ridiculousness, you’ll have a damn good time. But if you’re waiting to watch this film in the comfort of your own home without the rousing reactions to first time mayhem, I think you’ll be disappointed. “Cocaine Bear” works best when it is leaning into the silly, campy and over the top absurdity of its premise, but fails to focus on its strengths and gets lost in a sea of uninteresting human characters.
Directed by Elizabeth Banks from a script by Jimmy Warden, when stripped down to its most basic premise, “Cocaine Bear is exactly what you’d expect. A drug smuggler dumps a bunch of cocaine in the forest as his plane goes down. The smuggler hilariously meets his demise, leaving multiple duffle bags of cocaine scattered around the Georgia national park. Naturally, the smugglers want their coke, the cops want the smugglers, and the innocent bystanders who live near the park will have their lives uprooted due to this very odd, strange intrusion. Of course, a gigantic mama black bear got to the coke first, and is now on a savage rampage through the woods in search of blood, and you know…more cocaine. Because in the great words of Rick James, “Cocaine’s a helluva drug!”
“Cocaine Bear” sports an all star cast, with Kerri Russell, O’Shea Jackson Jr., Alden Ehrenreich, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Margo Martindale, Isiah Whitlock Jr., the late great Ray Liotta, and more. Let’s come back to the cast later as it is also one of the major problems with the film.
First, what really matters is whether or not “Cocaine Bear” delivers on the absurdity of its premise to earn its title. For that, I’d say yes it does. Again, the film works best when it fully commits to its zany ideas, giving us the bump we need to feel alive. It thrills when the bear kills, and watching this monstrosity rip people to shreds for more coke is darkly hilarious. It works well as a first time watch in a crowd, because the violence is so egregious and over the top you almost feel bad for how cathartically you find yourself laughing at the carnage. The drugs and comedy were a given. The extreme violence was a pleasant surprise, and truly shows that Banks is fully aware and capable of delivering a raunchy, laugh out loud, rip roaring thrill ride.
I’m also very happy to see Alden Ehrenreich back on screen. Seeing his incredible work here as a hilarious stand out makes me look back on “Star Wars: A Solo Story” and reassess his Han performance. In the great words of Thanos, “Perhaps I treated you too harshly.” Ehrenreich proves he’s got the chops and charisma to be a leading man, and “Cocaine Bear” let’s him run the gamut of range and put his full talents on display. Granted, everyone’s tongue is firmly planted in their cheek here, so he’s not going for an Oscar. But it’s still nice to see him be able to showcase his talents and be a stand out in a rather crowded line up. And of course, the bear is the real MVP. Though almost exclusively CGI, its search for more and more cocaine paired with its mauling violence is what truly sells this film. We showed up for two things: cocaine, and bears on it. And when it gives you both of those things, the film is having as much of a blast as you are, both relishing in the sheer silliness of it all together.
Unfortunately, the cocaine and the bear aren’t featured nearly enough to be fully effective all the time. Though it has plenty of drugs, it develops a character problem, one that never gets solved and strains the overall enjoyment. There are 18 human characters in this film, and while not all of them are heavily featured, Banks seems incapable of trimming things down to focus on what matters. All 18 characters have some kind of subplot or cutaway or backstory that clutters everything constantly. We simply don’t need that many people in a film called “Cocaine Bear,” and characters added for no other reason than a gnarly kill are given way too much screen time and importance than any of them deserve. This sprawling narrative feels like an overcompensation for the lack of substance the story has in the first place, and tips the scales in the wrong direction.
There are so many characters and character arcs and sub plots and character introductions that I can’t name a single person in the entire film. Maybe Eddie, but that’s just because I really liked Ehrenreich’s performance. The drugs and violence and bombastic absurdity has every right to be unfocused and wild. The constant influx of characters does not, and it slows the enjoyment of “Cocaine Bear” down to a screeching halt at times. That’s not to harp on any one performance, because frankly everyone here understands the assignment. But it highlights some pretty big misgivings in a script needing a few more passes and a keener eye behind the camera to recognize what matters and focus the entirety of the film on that. I get that this can’t be coke and bears all the time, and any monster style horror/comedy needs the human characters to move the story along and help us connect to the narrative. But there are so many characters here, even the audience surrogate we’re suppose to latch on to (the straight man in this case, which should be Jackson Jr’s character) gets lost in the shuffle.
Maybe Another Editing Pass?
This may matter more to me than the average movie goer, but there’s a good 30 minutes, 10 subplots and probably 7 people you could cut from “Cocaine Bear” and the film would function exactly the same with nothing being lost. Truthfully, a bit more targeted editing would’ve elevated this to be more centered on what makes it so damn fun, and your enjoyment wouldn’t consistently get interrupted as it does here. There’s just way too much filler to make a case for a compelling film all the way through, and it becomes all the more frustrating because when “Cocaine Bear” goes for it, it’s a high you never want to leave. But sadly, the lack of focus and messy execution makes the come down rough, and holds the film back from truly soaring to the heights we all wanted from a film like this. I mean, c’mon. You have two 12 year old kids accidentally doing coke in the woods. How do you not make that a constant running joke and use that in every way you possibly can? And that’s what I mean when I say it works best when it goes for broke, and the messiness holds the film back from really going nuts, forcing it to only scratch the surface more often than not.
I can’t say I didn’t have a good time. For all its faults, “Cocaine Bear” is entertaining as hell, and when it thrills, it reminds you of why you go to the movies. Yes, Nicole Kidman, we come to this place for drugs and bears on drugs. “Cocaine Bear” largely delivers, and you will most certainly find your self laughing and gasping and sometimes doing both simultaneously. But the film’s shortcomings holds it back from being enjoyable all the way through, and once it’s over I don’t think anyone will really want to revisit it. It doesn’t have any rewatch value, and all of “Cocaine Bear’s” lasting impressions are wrapped in the brief glimpses of shock and awe that exhilarate when they happen but are quickly forgotten after yet another long stretch of hanging out with characters we have zero investment in.
Should you see “Cocaine Bear?” Yeah, I think so. If this is the kind of movie you’ve been waiting for, then it will absolutely give you what you’ve been craving. I don’t think it gives enough, and bogs itself down with lulls. But there’s no denying that a collective theater audience experiencing the absurdity for the first time together is absolutely worth the experience.
Maybe if they gave out free coke instead of free KROQ stickers at my screening, “Cocaine Bear” would’ve been the best film of the year. It’s not quite there, but it has enough going for it to be worth a viewing. Personal drug use for viewing pleasure optional, I guess. [Which we absolutely do not recommend or condone.]
Rating: 3 out of 5 Stars
“Cocaine Bear” is now playing in theaters. You can watch the trailer below.
