Let’s face it, everybody poops, and along those same lines everybody farts. Depending on what you eat it could be something that’s no big deal, or you can have one of those rank egg mcmuffin farts you can only achieve by going to McDonald’s. Like Fat Bastard says, “Everyone likes their own brand.” But what happens when the people around you don’t? Well now there is a solution to that and it comes in the form of the FartVac.
I saw this on Odditymall, and to be honest, I thought for sure it was fake. How could it be real? Then my old pal Google pointed me to the site Fartvac.com. It’s a real thing and people actually buy it and use it.
FartVac is the world’s first fart vacuum and filtering system. Using a hand-activated air pump and an activated carbon filter, FartVac reduces the stench of flatulence. It is time to align norms and manners to what is healthy! By taking responsibility and trying to reduce your fart smells, you can now fart without shame–no more pain while fighting nature and holding in gas. Join the proud movement to embrace your body’s natural functions. FartVac also makes a great gag or white elephant gift for the gassy people in your life.Item description on FartVac.com
How does this work?
So to answer the question you are probably all thinking this does not go up your butt or inside your anus. It is supposed to sit inside your pants near your butt(preferably in the top of your buttcrack) where the gas gets trapped and when you fart you squeeze and release the bulb. There is a carbon filter that they boast that even NASA uses. “NASA uses activated carbon for odor and impurification filtration”, they say on their site. So you can be sure even the smelliest farts can be neutralized.
Honestly I would buy this just for the guide that comes with it. Lay it out when you have company and let them stumble upon the guide to the FartVac.
My favorite part of the website is this little excerpt right here:
Frequently asked questions #3
3. I got my Fartvac and tried to fart so hard that I pooped in my pants a little, can Fartvac help?
It is a critical life lesson to know when you cannot trust a fart, we’re sorry you had to learn it the hard way. Fartvac only filters gas farts, we cannot help filter the smell from poop in your pants in any way. You need a new pair of underwear, pants, and a good shower.
This product can be weaponized
Should you want to weaponize your FartVac there is a way to tamper with it so that it shoots farts out of the place where the carbon filter is. It’s easy as taking the filter out like you would when you want to replace it and just leaving it out. Now when you squeeze that bulb you can aim it in the direction you want to shoot and Viola! Stench city.
Where can I buy this amazing product?
There are two places that I found this product. The first is the site FartVac.com and the second is Amazon.com. If you order from the latter you help us earn a bit of commission which helps us to write these very interesting and helpful articles(lol). I’m unsure of the regular shipping time they use when you order through FartVac.com but on Amazon they have it available for Prime delivery.